This week has been very stressful! By the end of April, I have to turn in five essays and submit a grant proposal that will support me through my thesis project. Being at home with my family is nice as it gives me an opportunity to spend more time with my siblings and my mother. Nonetheless, the constant instabilities that my family lives with make it very difficult to focus and maintain the same level of dedication to my studies. I play a huge role in problem solving at home whether it be filling out important document, job applications or seeking out resources for family support I am never only worried about meeting school deadlines. I am so grateful that I have an amazing boyfriend, great friends and the best mom to support each other during these times. Since my return home I have felt emotionally, mentally and physically drained. This week I went on less runs than the usual but took my siblings which was nice. I also chose to do work outside since it has begun to get super-hot and sunny. This was a nice change of scenery. My family and I also got our face masks this week.
The highlight of my week was having long conversations with my mom. It made me feel as if time had never changed and I was still living with my mom. This is the longest time I have spent at home since I left to Brandeis three years ago. I love being able to hug my mom whenever I want to. I read this great post that said “there is nothing more stronger than a woman whose ancestors were abused, erased, carved and stoned living all through her now” @poetagoddess. I shared this with my closest friends and my mom. It is beautiful and it reminds me of the strength that the womxn in my family carry and raised me with and I love to think back and honor the womxn who are no longer with us. I also, like to remind myself of the freedom that I have gained through these womxn specifically my mother. I am so free but not entirely. I sometimes feel so much anger and frustration about the way that serious issues such as this pandemic affect families like my own differently than those who are filled with privileges.